So you started you business and you've done everything right. You work 2 jobs, stay up late, set up systems to automate services for customers, and get advice from the best. You read all the business blogs and your branding is on point. But everywhere you look, you see people seemingly doing better than you. Or here comes someone who started their business a few months ago bragging about the success they are having on social media. Now your upset, unhappy and feeling unmotivated. But guess what?! I'm here to tell you that it doesn't need to be like this! I'm here to help you understand how to handle these emotions and not let it get the best of you.

I call this my do's and don'ts of business jealousy because it will happen to you, but it is all about how you deal with it!

Don't:

-Assume: Here's an example. You see someone doing well in your area of business after only a few months and you're hating. But wait, do you know their story? Do you know they stay up all night working on orders? Or they use their lunch break at work to return client calls? You don't know what they are doing to make themselves so successful, so don't assume they have some unfair advantage they may not have. Are putting in all the hard work you could be? 

-Give into the hype. You need to know that Instagram follows, Facebook likes, Twitter followers and whatever else don't always equal money. People tend to see someone has 19,000 twitter followers and assume they are making tons of cash. I know several people who a lot of likes, they are "internet famous" and you see them everywhere but their business isn't booming. Also, anyone can tell you they are making money. "Hey girl, I make 6 figures every month!". See, I just did it! But how would you know that through the internet? You wouldn't. Don't worry about how many likes and followers you have, worry about putting out awesome content.

-Spend time staring at social media profiles: Feeding off my last point, remember people only put things on social media WHEN THEY ARE AT THEIR BEST. Studies have shown that social media actually makes people depressed because they think everyone else lives are better than theirs. LIES. No one is writing about how their business is at a stand still or having difficult days trying to get themselves to be productive.

-Get mad at that person: Why are you ragging on someone else's success? Be happy that someone else built up a successful business as proof that you can do it too!

-Just do what is trendy because everyone else is doing it: Are you staying true to yourself? The worst thing to do and the best way for customers to not trust your brand is to CONTINUOUSLY CHANGE YOUR BRAND BASED ON TRENDS. Are you constantly changing things in your business because everyone else is? Bad idea. This is especially true when you have a primarily online business. People don't really get to know your personality in-person so your internet presence needs to be consistent. When you stay true to your brand and do what is meaningful to you, you do your best work and your customers can see that. 

Do:

-Manage your time better: Are you really working on your business as much as you could? Are you spending an excessive amount of time on things like social media, watching your favorite TV shows or going out with friends? What could you be doing to spend more time working on the business? When you hear success stories, you will hear stories of spending nights and weekends burning the midnight oil. You hear about the TV being the babysitter for the kids. You hear of people whose struggle was very real. You may say, "Well I'm starting my own business so I don't have to do that!" and you will get there one day. But right now chica, you need to be on that grind. 

-Admire and Get Inspired: Does your business crush do something awesome that you admire? Do they have a weekly column you love? Do they have particular things about their business that you find clever? Draw some inspiration from that and do something that is completely your own. Now, this is very important: DON'T COPY PEOPLE. I repeat, DO NO COPY OTHER PEOPLE'S IDEAS. Its not flattering, its wrong and you will be getting a few angry emails and a DMCA take down notice. 

-Connect: Connect with people you think are inspiring and great. I can tell you I'm in a few Facebook groups where people are in business and you can connect and talk about the difficulties of business. Networking can get you to the right people and sometimes the exposure that you need. 

-Remember that journey is yours and yours alone: Everyone is going to have a different experience when it comes to their business. Stop comparing yourself! We are all great and that is what makes the world an interesting and exciting place to be! If you are doing all you can and being the best you can be, your time will come!

Disclaimer: This post is for everyone. Doesn't matter your gender or sexuality, this is supposed to be my attempt at being humorous. And just to let you know, these stories are not completely made up, bits and pieces come from things that have actually happened to me.

Can we tell the truth in here? Let's be honest people. Dating is hard. Very hard. Getting to know anyone is always difficult and a bit awkward, but getting to know someone and you both hoping that this will turn into something romantic can be ever weirder. It is a lot like interviewing someone to sleep with you. And now with hookup apps like Tinder, Grindr and all the others, you feel like instead of anyone getting to know you, they just want to know about the part in between those legs which can be very daunting to some, and super awesome for others. Either way, dating is somewhat of an adventure. And what better way to start an adventure than by a tarot reading! So I thought up some modern meanings for cards that may come up when your doing a reading on this new person you may be going on a date with tonight. So lets say your doing one-card readings and you pull...

The Devil

​So you met her on Tindr and she didn't say much except that she wanted to met up tonight. She walks in, she's hot. She buys you a drink and she's giving you the eye. What eye? You know what eye, don't act like you don't know!. After talking a for a bit, she asks you if you want to get out of there and go back to your place. You thinking, "Woah, she's for real right now? Should I?" But you do, because you know you want this as bad as she does. Your get back to your place and you guys go TO TOWN. It sounds like a bull is running around your apartment you guys make so much noise. The downstairs neighbors are banging their ceiling/your floor with a broomstick trying to get you guys to shut up. This girl is into some kinky stuff but that's ok, your down for it. Eventually you have to rest because, well, that was a marathon. When you wake up in the morning, she's gone, and so is your wallet. 

This person has one thing and one thing in mind only. TO GET LAID. If that's all you want, then hey, go for it. It will be hot, quick and possibly filthy (literally or figuratively, I don't know your life lol). But also be careful of the company you keep. This person may be a liar, a thief, or just may end up being a stalker. You are gonna have a good night, but you may want to think beyond that for your own safety.

Two of Cups

​You meet at the restaurant, you hear a voice say, "Hi, are you [insert your name here]?". You gaze up, there he is. Gorgeous eyes, beautiful body, smile that lights up a room. Your think, "Damn he looks BETTER than his profile pic!". When you talk, you find out he majored in Poly Sci and you have the same middle name! He tells you about his elderly neighbor, Edith, and how it's so weird that he has become such good friends with a 85 year old woman! She has even taught him how to knit and it is really helping him deal with the stress at work (he's so sweet, he checks on Edith everyday because he knows how lonely she gets). And don't forget you both love HGTV and the Red Hot Chili Peppers! This is nuts! You leave the restaurant hand-in-hand. You have both are completely smitten and you both know it. He walks you to your door and doesn't even ask to come inside. He doesn't want to ruin this! You reach over and yes! The kiss is happening! It's snowing lightly and it basically looks like you are on the set of a Christmas movie. You get inside the door. You get on your phone and text your bestie because you can't believe this shit. He texts you when he gets home to tell you he's safe and had a great time. He wants to know when your free for another date! Your in love!

The Two of Cups means this one might be THE ONE. The one and only. The connection is instant and very strong. You have been in love before but this is more than just love, this is a bond that you don't want to let go of. This person is awesome and don't worry, we all do the Pinterest thing. 

Three of Cups

​You were set up by your brother's girlfriend. At first you really didn't want to go, but the more you hear about her, the more excited you get. Your brother's girlfriend tells you, "She's so cool. I'm gonna be surprised if you haven't decided to live together by the end of the date, Your both like the outdoors and she is soooooooo chill. She knows how to make homemade kombucha and she just started her own Kickstarter to support her local co-op! You gonna like her. Seriously." I mean, you do like kombucha, and that is pretty awesome that she supports local businesses, so why not? So you get dressed and ready to meet her at a coffee shop. What the hell did she say she was wearing again? Whatever you will figure it out. So in she comes. She hardly greets you or gives you any eye contact. She smells. Like, I mean, SHE SMELLS. You try to start a conversation with her, and she is SUPER PRETENTIOUS. She went to Brown and clearly feels like because you only went to a state school, she is better than you. She spends most of the date bragging about herself and talking about her ex, who is writer like you, but her ex has written a few books on the New York Best Seller list, and she wants you to know that. Everything you say she has to one-up you, as if you aren't on a date, but some kind of life competition. Your send the emergency phrase to your friend, Andre, who calls you talking and yelling very loudly so that this chick thinks it is an emergency. You run out the door mumbling something Andre's cat being stuck on the roof and that's the end of that.

What a disappointment. This date you had been looking forward to for weeks ends up being a total dud. Everything you had dreamed up was not actually what had really happen. After so many let-downs, you really though this would be a winner. That's ok, onward and upward.

Did you enjoy this? Let me know!

So this is a bit late, but what the hell! So the new year is here and I bet you made tons of different resolutions for yourself. But what about your business? If you don't already write business plans, you need to. And it you already have your business plan in place, I just want to make sure you and examining these different areas. What resolutions have you made and what are you going to do differently? What planning have you done? Let me give you some suggestions...

1. Your Money!

LOOK AT THE NUMBERS. As small businesses (you can make a lot of money and still be a small business), we are all looking to save money wherever we can. It is time to ask some questions...

If you rent a space, can you get somewhere cheaper?
Can you bring down your marketing budget?
Are you happy with any service providers you use?

My suggestion:
Look at any area you spend money and make sure it is necessary and also look at where you can cut costs.

2. Your Team!

Questions to ask yourself:
Are you happy with your team? Do your employees have what they need to get the job done? Do they have the right amount of support? Even if you are a solopreneur, you probably have an accountant, a bank you use, and maybe even a lawyer. Are you happy with their services? Do you feel like they are doing the best they can for you? Are they way too expensive?

My suggestion:
Make sure you like the people working for you. Don't go into the new year being frustrated withe same people from last year. 

3. Your Services and/or Products!

Questions to ask yourself:
What are you selling out of? What isn't selling at all? If it has been a year and you see no one has bought a certain product of yours, don't let it sit there. Let it go! It's good to mix things up and let go of things that aren't working. 

My suggestion:
While of course your going to have new and awesome products and services, make sure you are sprucing up your most popular products and making them the best they can be (also, if you selling out of a certain thing ALL THE TIME and spending a lot of time on it, you might need to give yourself a raise). 

4. Your Advertising and Social Media!

Questions to ask yourself?:
Are you getting a return on the advertising your currently doing? Are you reaching the clients you want to serve? Are you spending no money where you want to spend it? How is your social media game? Are you posting regularly? Are there avenues of social media you hate having to post on to?

My suggestion:
Really research before you put money into advertising. If you have a business which is local, you might want to advertise in local papers and fairs more. Word of mouth works really well for local businesses. If you have a strictly online service, you want to make sure your really up on you social media. Feeling overwhelmed by the internet? Make sure you are only doing social media sites that you actually like. If you hate Facebook, give it up. Why? Because your clients/customers will take note. Don't do anything if your going to half ass it. Also, to help you, pick a day of the week to sit and plan out your internet presence throughout the week. Using a program like Hootsuite will help you relieve that social media stress.

5. Your Classes/Events/Education/Speaking Engagements!

Questions to ask yourself:
What classes do I want to teach? Where am I teaching them? What speaking engagements do I plan on doing? Am I doing any free classes? 

My suggestion:
Plan everything in advance. Of course sometimes it's difficult because if you are participating in someone else's event you might not now when it is, but try your best. When you have deadlines and know when things are going to happen, it's easier to be prepared. Also, look at trends from last year. By this I mean, if you don't know how many events to do, or when, look at what happened the year before and start planning from there.

6. Your Collaborations!

Questions to ask yourself:
Who have you wanted to work with? Who have you wanted to interview?

My suggestion:
ASK! I'm telling you, when it comes to wanting to work with people you admire, as long as you ask them nicely and not is a sleazy way, most of the times they will talk to you. Many of the people who are your peers in the industry know that working together is better than working against each other. 

7. Your Clients!

Questions to ask yourself:
Am I getting the clients I want? Am I doing the best I can for my clients? Am I treating them like superstars?

My suggestion:
Why don't you ask your clients! Send out a survey or have a candid conversation with your clients asking what your doing right and what could be improved. 

These are some of the most important things you may want to consider for your business this new year. Do you have anything else? Let me know!!!

A few people have asked me how to get rid of old energies, feelings and thought forms. My favorite way to let go and start anew is with a fun new moon ritual. Why did I call it the Frozen ritual? Because we are going to "let it go" (get it?!). I find that you can do this ritual anytime you want, but its awesome and incredibly powerful to do it on a new moon. What do you need? Not much.

Supplies: Paper, writing utensil, matches or a lighter, a bowl or fire safe receptacle, a source of water
Optional Supplies: Salt, smudge stick, percussion (drum, rattle, bells, whatever you got)

If you can go outside and do this, that is great. If you can't, that's ok. We are gonna take care of it inside.

Ready? Lets go.

1. Clearing yourself: Mediation is great for this. If you can sit and mediate (by the way, it doesn't need to be a long mediation, 3-5 minutes will do just fine if you want) or you can listen to your favorite song. Other methods I'm fond of are dancing, singing, or doing some deep breathing exercises until you feel very calm. Clearing yourself is about getting rid of negative feeling in order to be in the right emotional state to receive whatever the universe has to give you. 

2. Create Sacred Space: Find a place outside or indoors. Bring your sacred items so they can be around you such as any crystals, cards, beads or any other spiritual items you have. If you want, you can smudge the space to get ready for your ritual. Also, if you want to have fun calling in the divine, drumming, bells and rattles are a great way to let the spirits know you are ready to talk. 

3. Write: Write down on a piece of paper what it is you want to be released from. Take your time with this. What stops you from feeling free? What beliefs are limiting you? What hurts are you still holding on to? Write everything down and BE HONEST as you can. When your done, sign it and date it. 

4. Light it up: Light your candle. 

5. Speak: Take your piece of paper and declare that you will now be letting this go. If your at a loss for words, say something like:

"I now let these emotions and thought forms to the universe. Let it be so."

Ignite that sucker. Now something interesting to note, if the paper is hard to burn, it means whatever your trying to get rid of is that much more difficult to let go of. 

6. End it right: Put out the fire when your ready. Use water to cleanse yourself. You can wash your hands, take a shower and add some salt to the soap, or jump in a river or the ocean. Whatever is available. 

Now, this is a just a suggestion. You can use this to create your own ritual! Look inside yourself and do something that is meaningful to you. 

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