Love is a wonderful thing. When we first fall in love, we spend all our time with the person. are in constant contact, and all those lovely things and it's wonderful! But sometimes those behaviors can turn into an unhealthy, codependent relationship. This can be very hard to identify because it can be easily mistaken for some type of intense love. Some people will say, "Oh he's just clingy" or "She just likes to make sure I'm safe, that why she texts me every 10 minutes". When codependency starts, at first we may find it even cute or see it as a sign of affection. But this can sometimes it can be a lot more than that.
Clues you might be in a codependent relationship:
- You have minimal interests outside your relationship
- You see unhealthy traits in your partner but stay anyway because you feel you "need" them or they "need" you
- You are constantly trying to make your partner happy at the cost of your personal emotional, mental and/or physical health
- You feel like you can't live with the other person
- You feel like your babysitting your partner
Having been in a relationship of where the codependency ran rapid between the both of us, after I got out of it, I personally grew hate when people talk about relationships and say "we are one". No your not. You are two people who happen to really care about each other and often have things in common. You may like the same music, from a similar background, enjoy the same sports teams, but you are still two different people and you always will be. Now if you find yourself if this kind of relationship, it's up to you whether you want to continue it or not, but it is healthy for you and your partner to be able to recognize is their is a problem so you can figure out how to go about fixing it. Remember, the most important thing is that you realize how important you and your happiness are.
Use your tarot cards and try out this spread (I didn't include a picture because you can put these cards in any shape you want):
1. What do I bring to this relationship?
2. What does my partner bring to this relationship?
3. What hidden feeling do I have about this relationship?
4. What hidden feelings does my partner have about the relationship?
5. What can we do to improve our relationship?
Using this spread, you can look at the relationship from a different angle to see if their is any issues you might want to address. Codependent relationships usually have something to do with things that happened to the individuals in the relationship, and communication can be the cure for that. So speak up and stand up for your independence because you are beautiful and important and you deserve it.
(This is a short one.)
Ok kids, I'm coming at you with another reality check. Hold on to your hats.
You don't have to be a full-time self employed person to be happy.
Ok, there, I said it. Please don't hurt me!
Why am I saying this? Because lately, we have been inundated with stories about people who left their oppressive, full-time, grown-up stupid jobs to pursue their passions. WHICH IS AWESOME. But I also noticed that because of this, many people now feel this extreme pressure to drop everything, throw themselves into their hobbies and/or side hustles and instantly become happier. And I get it because I was going through it. I was trying to get my business off the ground and started feeling like if I wasn't working full time at tarot, then I was failing, and that feeling sucks.
Don't get me wrong. Being self-employed is awesome and is MY goal. That is what I really want to do, and I'm gearing myself up and have two business so that one day that may be a possibility. But right now, if you are like me, you have bills. You might need health insurance from your company. You may need to support loved ones. There is a lot that you need to do with your money, and you may not have someone to support while you figure yourself out. Also, self-employment is a lot of a work that not everyone is cut out for. You don't get paid time off, and sometimes you end up working more than 40 hours a week. Knowing that you have to fully rely on yourself can actually be overwhelming and cause you more stress than you had before.
Instead of putting pressure on yourself to be an instant success with your own business, why don't you first examine why your unhappy with your current job. Is it:
Examine why you are so unhappy, and until you can branch out on your own, change your situation. Try to look at the things that make your job hard and either try to change them or find a better to deal with it. Suggestions include:
-Finding a position with better pay.
-Look for a job closer to your home.
-Seek higher education or apprenticeship opportunities.
-Look for a job where you don't feel micro-managed or don't have to deal with such snarky co-workers.
I'm not saying that any of this is easy, but if you try, it will definitely be worth it. In the meantime, work on your passion on your off hours and with enough work and dedication, YOU WILL GET THERE!!! So keep working on your business, but don't KEEP yourself unhappy while your doing it. In the words of Oprah (I think it's Oprah) "Live your best life now!!!!".
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